Khan attacks opposition to ‘Firstborn’ plan

Sadiq Khan has hit out at growing opposition to his plan to slay the firstborn of London. He has vowed to press ahead, insisting that slaying all first-born children and adults is vital to protect the environment, and ensure a safe future.

‘Those who oppose this plan are lining up with far-right extremists,’ he told journalists ‘and we must not let the voices of hate nor climate-change denial stop up from delivering a solution to what all younger brothers know to be the cause of that holds them back in like, namely their big brother.’

The plan, set out by the Mayor in a 91 page policy document ‘Tackling the climate emergency and reducing the big brother problem’, which he flew to the Summit for Climate Action Missions to announce, would be the most ambitious programme of its type in the world, involving identifying major polluters and eldest children across the capital, not just in the  inner boroughs, and eliminating them.

The Mayor said that he is frustrated that medical staff have refused to take part in the prototokothanasia programme, which he put down to dissatisfaction over inadequate levels of pay in the NHS. Instead he is looking to recruit an army of volunteers across London.

Addressing initial doubts about the efficacy of the First-Born Plan, Sadiq Khan repeated the importance of the steps he intends to take. He reminded the audience that climate change is an immediate threat to the welfare of everyone in the world, and maybe even everyone in London, impacting the quality of life and electoral prospects of all levels of society. ‘Something must be done urgently: this is something; therefore it must be done.’

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Author: faykinuise

Superheroine reporter, legend in her own bathtime, who never lets a lack of facts get in the way of a breaking story