New Government slogan ‘to bring clarity’

Number 10 admits the ‘Stay Alert’ slogan was not clear enough in expressing the Government’s actual intention for the next stage to end the lockdown. It hopes that the new one will be better understood.

A government source says ‘Last week’s slogan was researched extensively and paid for expensively, but skirted round the intention. This time we want to be clearer about what we expect of the British people. We are closing in on normality. We do not want people to be lazing about at home the way we told them to. Soon more shops will be open, so if you want to go out and buy your children’s new back-to-school kit, or some sexy undies for your wife or your IT consultant, you’ll be able to.’

‘Our main concern is motivation, and we hope that we can reach the unreached majority with a more direct slogan:

Grow Up ► Accept some Responsibility ► Go to Work.’

Future direction of strategy is still uncertain: there are believed to be consultants working flat out to find new slogans to ensure that they are paid a fee and do not find themselves locked down out of work the way the rest of the country sis.

Regional variants have so far been resisted, to ensure a single, consistent, national message, except where it isn’t. However this week the behavioural psychologists hired by PR consultants, for a better fee, have urged the more slogans be deployed for local conditions and to cope with the needs of differing cultural nuances. These will be rolled out over the next few days, devised specifically for a fee multiplier.

One unnamed government source, currently working remotely from a police cell, said that ‘It’s a canny strategy to ensure all get a dekko at hods o’ new guidance’ and that he is confident that the new campaign rolled out across the nation will see a permanent improvement in behavioural attitudes and the PR consultants’ profit margins, until next week when a new campaign will be required to update and clarify the direction of the lockdown / end-of lockdown strategies as they develop.

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Author: faykinuise

Superheroine reporter, legend in her own bathtime, who never lets a lack of facts get in the way of a breaking story

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