You’ll never take me a-skive, copper

Where have all the police cars come from? Until recently you would never see any police hereabouts unless they were just driving through, and those briefings we get from the plastic-policeman reporting solemnly that crime doubled in the last quarter in that there were four incidents, but the lad has been arrested. Now their cars are all over. I go out for a walk for a few hours and pass two cop-cars drawn up on the pavement taking to a householder, then later see another drawing up in a random spot as if to leap on someone, then skulking through the avenue. There is another couple of them further on.

I am working this week. With no commute, I can take a longer afternoon or evening walk than normal. I have to walk to keep my strength up if I can’t drive out to spend all weekend amongst the fells.

Could I be arrested for not being at my desk at all regulated hours? You’ll never take me a-skive, copper. No, I am working during the day, but now I am walking for exercise and we are all commanded, commanded, to take exercise every day. The new patrols may not be for me. It is normal to feel a reflex of guilt whenever you see the police on patrol. Maybe they are after people walking abroad in their freedom.

I hear snatches “Good morning madam – we have had reports….” and walk on. It maybe that they had reports of a vulnerable person and are dropping in to see if she is all right. They never do that in normal times. Maybe they are just bored, what with crime having dropped away in the lockdown. Or maybe the lady they are questioning, with two car-loads of constables, is the centre of a crime-ring involved in some dangerous, fiendish activity like having her neighbour round for tea, or failing to clap at the time appointed.

I would rather the police were bored if it means there is less crime.

All those sudden squad cars make me uneasy though. That is not the sort of society we want to have, under the thumb of police. The phrase “Police state” was trending on social media recently, and maybe commentators thought it was ridiculous, but the definition of a “police state” is where ones freedom depends on the whims of the police, not on the law. Being able to thumb our noses at overbearing peelers is part of our common freedom.

Also, why aren’t the police social distancing from each other or from those the are terrifying in the lanes?

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Author: AlexanderTheHog

A humble scribbler who out of my lean and low ability will lend something to Master Hobbes