An exclusive report pinpoints the blame for the COVID-19 epidemic on Brexit. We will show Britain’s leaving the European Empire led directly and inevitably to the coronavirus epidemic in China and across the world, in which the Johnson government played a knowing role, suppressing reports that would have shown this as the inevitable outcome. The full scale of the scandal of ‘Project Pangolin’ is yet to be revealed.
Or we could do it as ‘pinpoints the blame on manmade Global Warming’. Or maybe ‘a worldwide capitalist plot against the workers’ as Jeremy suggested (and we know where those theories about international conspiracies lead, don’t we Jeremy?) Maybe if the right source comes up with the cash it can be ‘the nationalist government of the Ukraine (or Latvia perhaps)’: I’ve not run that one for a while.
Look, its hard getting by these days, so anyone who wants to sponsor us, just give us the cash and we’ll write the report you want. I’ve the template right here: I just need to slot in the relevant target for blame and we are ready to go: your cash and you choose the blame. It’s not as if XR is short of cash after all those donations the organisers pocketed, or a trade union that can be free with its members’ subscriptions maybe. We are not like Piers Corbyn, promoting mad theories for free – it’s all about money here. Come on, I’m just looking for a sponsor.
Would it help if this post were repeated in Russian?