The authentic text of the further UK-US trade negotiation has been released through reliable, authenticated sources:
To the Amerikanski Ambassador, fraternal greetings, Comrade.
We acknowledge your requests and regrettably can agree only first proposals, and concede:
- All drugs for National Health Service will be bought from American pharmaceutical companies at price plus;
- Drug patents will be increased from 20 years to 200 years.
- We will or five years send 1% of our maidens to Trump dacha.
- All dissidents against policy will be sent to Guantanamo gulag.
- In return, no US tariffs on Monty Python or tea or samovar.
We share vodka soon. Am looking forward to face to face meetings in London after Rozhdestvo Khristovo.