Operation Casement: still no arrests

Police are still hunting a gang of highly placed players threatening to conspire with a foreign power against British interests in vital Brexit negotiations. One, known to MI5 as ‘Ex-Chancellor’ and to French intelligence as ‘Qui est cet idiot-ci?’ has had access to high-level state intelligence. There are fears that even some Privy Councillors and the House of Commons Intelligence and Security Committee may have been compromised.

It is thought that charges of espionage, treasonous acts and behaving in a manner not expected of a gentleman could be brought, resulting in long sentences and even expulsion from the Carlton Club.

A senior police investigator who would not be named said, “We realise that the allegations are serious and that a conspiracy at this level has the potential to cause permanent damage to the British economy and political stability as well as ruining the country’s reputation in the world. However now that ‘Nick’ is inside, we have lost our main source of information about senior politicians. We don’t know where to look, even when they confess publicly.”

Confronted by allegations about his involvement, Dominic Grieve responded ‘Allons enfants de la patrie, le jour de gloire est arrive!”. Asked about the ‘no-deal’ scenario, he responded “Je refuse absolument et je ferai tout ce qui est en mon pouvoir pour éviter cette situation”. Pressed on whether he would then vote for any new deal brought back from Brussels by Boris Johnson, Grieve responded “Non.”

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Author: faykinuise

Superheroine reporter, legend in her own bathtime, who never lets a lack of facts get in the way of a breaking story